There were a million stars but I found you
by Okitopus
Summary: Hijikata Toshizou, the devilish vice-commander of Shinsengumi, will not be faltered by the cheerful voice too loud in his left ear – was what he tried to tell himself as Okita clung onto his shoulder. (Hijikata x Okita)


**\- There were a million stars but I found you -**

"Hi-ji-ka-ta-SAAN~"

Hijikata Toshizou, the devilish vice-commander of Shinsengumi, will not be faltered by the cheerful voice too loud in his left ear – was what he tried to tell himself as Okita clung onto his shoulder.

"Souji. Don't drag my name out like that." Hijikata grunted under his breath while trying to untangle the Oki-topus from himself.

"There is a festival near Ninna-ji tonight," Okita was practically on top of Hijikata despite the latter's efforts to pull him off, "Tetsu and the comedic trio are all going. You will come with me, right?"

"No. I have business to take care of, unlike those brats." A lie, Hijikata really just wanted to take a long bath, drink some sake, and relax in silence tonight...that's really all he wanted, why is that so hard.

As though a trigger has been pulled, Okita's arms became slack, releasing Hijikata from his death-grip. He stood up silently and made his way to leave.

"They have cotton-candy, you know." Okita said quietly as he reached for the door.

 _Don't be like this_ , Hijikata thought to himself. Despite all his fierceness and his indifference, he can never quite bring himself to see Okita unhappy.

"...fine. As long as we don't linger for too long." Hijikata muttered, admitting defeat.

"Ah, I knew you couldn't resist the temptation of cotton candy! Come on, let's go." Okita's hands went from reaching for the door to around hijikata's arm in the blink of an eye, dragging him out towards the exit.

"That's not why I..."

* * *

Ninna-ji during the day is a prodigious, looming figure among the zig-zagging skyline of Kyoto. Ninna-ji at night, however, has a certain secretive charm to it. A maiden veiled by the moonlight, the festivities hemming her gown.

Holding onto Hijikata's hand (somewhere along the trip from headquarters to Ninna-ji, their fingers have entwined, Hijikata doesn't know why, he tries not to think about it.), Okita made a bee-line for the cotton-candy stand, undisturbed by the rowdy crowd.

"Hijikata-san, you know you want a bite~" Okita waved his cotton candy in front of Hijikata, as though he was playing with a cat, "Tetsu and the rest don't seem to be around here, so you don't need to worry about your reputation being ruined or something."

"Souji, if you eat too many sweets, your heart will become weak." Hijikata's eyebrows bunched together disapprovingly.

"Well, I don't need to worry about that, do I?" Okita looked up, meeting the vice-commander's gaze knowingly. Almost instinctively, Hijikata tightened his hold on Okita's hand.

They navigated through the festival-attendees in silence, a disquiet between them. Out of both their surprises, neither of them let go of the other's hand – not when Hijikata knocked a young girl's candied-apple over and had to buy her a new one, not when Okita tried to get the piggy-bank from the hoop-throwing stand. _You have that fat pig already, isn't that close enough. But Saizo won't let me give him a tummy-rub._

When they reached the shrine, Hijikata threw a coin at the donation box and muttered a prayer under his breath. Okita watched him from behind. Hijikata knows that despite his easy-going demeanour, Okita has never wished for anything from a god before. _No god can save me anymore,_ the younger captain once said to him, drenched in sweat and blood on a sunless day.

"Okita-san! Hijikata-san!" Tetsu's energetic voice reached them before his short figure appeared atop the shrine stairs, "are you two making wishes?"

"Tetsu-kun! I'm glad you found us. Where did the rest go?" Okita waved at the young boy while hooking an arm over Hijikata's tensed shoulders.

"I was looking for Saya." Tetsu gestured towards the young girl in a pink kimono hiding behind him, "anyway, what did you two wish for?"

"I didn't wish for anything, as for Hijikata-san…" Okita winked, ignoring Hijikata's growingly dark face.

The next few moments passed with Tetsu (and his persistent curiousity) pestering Hijikata for his wish and Hijikata waving his sheathed katana at him, as though he was fending off a particularly enthusiastic puppy. Then, something about Saya wanting Tetsu to help her catch a goldfish dragged Tetsu back towards the festival stands.

"Ugh, that brat…" Hijikata glowered after Tetsu's fading figure as he ran down the shrine stairs.

"Hijikata-san," Okita tugged Hijikata towards the Torii, a better spot to watch the fireworks under, "it is okay."

"Wha-"

"It is okay. I am okay. You don't need to wish for anything. I will be alright."

Hijikata hates this, he hates how Okita can say those words in that cheerful voice of him. He hates how he inevitably end up wanting to believe him, even though he knows it is a lie.

"Souji," in an attempt to calm the growing dull pain in his chest, Hijikata tugged Okita closer, hands curving behind his neck, "you won't leave me, you can't leave me. That's an order, got it?"

The thunderous bang of the fireworks drowned out Okita's reply, so he cupped Hijikata's face and leaned up for a kiss. He hoped that it was enough to convey his feelings – love, contrite, longing.

They stayed until the last firework dimmed. Somewhere along the way back, Hijikata acquired a bottle of sake. They talked about Shinsengumi, and they talked about the past. Sipping a bottle of sake between them, Ninna-ji behind their backs.

* * *

 _A/N: To be honest I wanted to write pure fluff, because these two suffer enough in canon already, but somewhere along the line the fic started on a sad note and I couldn't quite get it back to happy stuff again. However I do plan to write more fluff, otherwise the person sitting next to me as I write this (or, the person who enabled me to write this in the first place) will probably hold me at gun point. This is my first time publishing a fic so senpai please be gentle (i.e. review/concrit greatly appreciated :D)_


End file.
